During late start on a snowy Wednesday morning of February 12th at precisely 8:57 AM, several student leaders launched a multi-grade movement to build a grand monument that would emphasize the unfortunate lack of a snow day. Expert Inkwell reporter Chris Martelli first stumbled upon this valorous project while strolling down the path toward morning meeting. Spying a dedicated worker to the cause, he walked up to Dallas Franklin to inquire about what seemed to be a Quakerly project. When questioned about why he was building an igloo, Dallas, refusing to elaborate, simply insisted that building an igloo was of utmost importance. The students had two shovels and three variably sized boxes on hand. They used their “brilliant engineering skills” to invent a system to maximize the production of the compacted snow blocks needed to construct this amazing igloo known as the Saint Alfonzo’s Pancake House, hereby known as the SAP™ house. Kody, Alvin, and Aaron, the three musketeers of the SAP™ house, were the esteemed students of the brilliant AP Bio class, which thankfully did not meet that day.
In an interview with Pancake Master Aaron, he described this budding building as a sustainable, zero-emission structure. “It uses state-of-the-art snow tech to consume absolutely no energy,” Aaron expertly deduced. Upon further examination, expert reporters at the hallowed Inkwell newspaper verified that the igloo surprisingly did not use any unsustainable energy resources. “With everything connected to the electrical grid in today’s world, finding a structure without electricity is a rare sight,” remarked Chris. Trying to watch Chinese short-form videos inside of the igloo, Chris lamented that “the one downside to sustainability is that the SAP™ house sadly doesn’t have free internet connection.” Fortunately, his woeful cries were silenced as soon as he realized that the nearby Dolan Center had easily accessible non-sustainable wifi. Next, Aaron brought us to the snowbrick assembly line, where diligent workers packed the finest snow into high-quality bricks that would eventually be used in the igloo. Seven sincere shovelers scooped snow into designated snow cartons, which other technicians packed down. Aaron, explaining that they had the highest quality control, proceeded to maniacally jump on the snow brick for strict testing purposes. Sadly, only receiving a “D” grade from Aaron, the snow brick had to be sent back and remade post-flattening.
Approaching the assembly line, the glorious and intelligent Inkwell reporters espied a diligent laborer to interview. “Snowism is love, and Snowism is life,” Aidan proclaimed. Elaborating more about his motivator, he explained, “Snowism is the one true motivator, and all benevolent things come from our religious leader, Kody.” When inquired about why they decided to build the igloo, Kody, the self-proclaimed “Glashiee of Snowism,” explained that this igloo was a result of the snow gods’ benevolence. “Scoopus brought us the shovels, and Containus brought us the Tupperware,” preached Kody. Kody was grateful for these gifts and dedicated the SAP™ house to these omnipotent holiday beings. Kody, being a great leader, motivated the rest of the workers to “Pack Snow, Build Igloo,” with that phrase becoming a popular chant amongst the hard-working snow technicians.
Unfortunately, progress slowed during G block due to the students having to shockingly “learn” during a school day. However, the next block, Alvin was right back out again and working tirelessly to complete the momentous igloo. Where the igloo was pitiable and small before, it grew immensely as soon as Alvin got to work. Tirelessly, he worked, taking blocks helpfully provided by his assistants and expertly molding them to shape. Alvin, not one to be distracted, worked on and on through his free periods, even yielding his lunch to continue working with “cold” efficiency. When asked why he was building the igloo, he declared that he didn’t know but continued onward.
Sadly, the plan did not come to fruition by the end of the school day, which is why some dedicated workers dropped everything and decided to stay after school to finish, especially Alvin. As the sun set, and much to the annoyance of the robotics coach, Mrs. Mintzer, the entire robotics team, inspired by Alvin’s antics, decided to skip robotics to build the igloo. With Alvin now having a semi-competent team, production on the igloo was gleefully finished just an hour after school closed. As teachers came and watched, Alvin lay the last keystone in the center of the roof, finally closing off the igloo. It was so well built that it survived the aptly named “Alvin Test,” where said person used the nearby tree as leverage to leap on top of the roof. The igloo survived two more days, standing firm as a testament to sustainable construction and teamwork within this wonderful school before eventually collapsing under the bearing sun. Thankfully, this article, cannot melt and will stand as a reminder of the sustainable snow league’s work ethic or Inkwell reporters’ lack thereof, considering that this article is being released in June.
In an interview between the teachers and builders
Teacher: “How are you guys making this?”
Students: “Pack Snow, build igloo.”
